Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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