bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
