im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
