how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
