He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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