So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
