This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
