i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
