she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
