Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
