Whod you bang
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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