it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
