Will you blow on my dice?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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