what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
