I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
