Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
