i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
