She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
