i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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