Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
