i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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