I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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