Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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