My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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