you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
