he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
