No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
