that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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