remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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