As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
