Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
