I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
nutella sex= disaster
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
