well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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