he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
