you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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