I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
