Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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