I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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