You're my little dorito
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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