evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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