Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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