I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Holy shit dude........stairs
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
