kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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