I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
