wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
