Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
