Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
