I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
