I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
