We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
how does that bad decision feel?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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