Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Someone shit on the floor
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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