So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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