you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We left the knife in your bed.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
