she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
