i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
